The life of a {censored} Pokemon Trainer
by Irenicus
Summary: When a Pokemon Trainer(s) meets Digimon, Dragonball Z, Tenchi, you name it! Warning: Only read this if you're in the mood for something weird. Oh, and don't step on the flowers. PG-13 for language. This is my first fic, so please R
1. Another Day in...The Life of a {censored...

Another Day in… ****

Another Day in…

THE LIFE OF A {censored} POKEMON TRAINER

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon, nor do I claim to. The great guys at Nintendo, Creatures, 4Kids, and Game Freak do. (Besides, if I thought I owned it, why would I write this fic?) I do not own Dragonball Z, nor do I claim to. I don't know who owns it. Also, my knowledge in Dragonball Z is limited, so please R&R. I do not own Digimon, nor do I claim to. I don't know who does. (Yes, I know it's a long disclaimer!)

**We are currently flying at Mach2 across a small field, then over a mountain, and we suddenly arrive in a city, looking from a bird's eye view, and see a sign labeled Celadon City. We fly downwards to a small building where sit a man in a suit, a fourteen year old boy, and a woman who for the moment we shall assume is his mother**

Man-in-suit: And so you feel that people are always annoying you?

Boy: Yeah. Got summat wrong with it?

Man-in-suit: No. And Mrs. Simmons…how do you feel about your son's view?

Mrs. Simmons: I can't even hear myself think. Son, where did you pick up that language?

Boy: SOMEWHERE ELSE!

Man-in-suit: Calm down Owen!

Owen: …okay.

M.I.S: Very well. I have diagnoses. 

Mrs. Simmons: What?

M.I.S: Your son is suffering from a severe disease called _Tempermentallius Randomness._ Your son appears to have extreme temperamental flashes and random times.

Owen: Good idea. Speak about me in third person. I won't get mad.

M.I.S: Okay. But I believe that you should give me more time to study this disease.

Mrs. Simmons: Why?

M.I.S: Because your son is the first person diagnosed.

Mrs. Simmons: But what about the name.

M.I.S: I made it up.

Mrs. Simmons: Well that's a crappy name.

M.I.S: You try better to think up a long word in less than three seconds.

Owen: Superpowerfragballisticplaguedwithhalitosis. 

M.I.S: Huh?

Owen: Super Power Frag Ballistic Plagued With Halitosis.

M.I.S: What does that have to do with anything?

Owen: YOU JUST TOLD ME TO THINK UP A LONG WORD IN LESS THAN THREE SECONDS!

M.I.S: THERE'S NO NEED TO SHOUT!

Owen: I'M NOT SHOUTING.

**Everyone stares at Owen**

Owen: Alright I am! I'M SHOUTING! I'M SHOUTING! I'M SHOU-- *Candlestick falls down at hits him on the head*

Mrs. Simmons: Owen! *snaps fingers*

**Owen wakes up**

Owen: WHAT?!

Mrs. Simmons: You haven't finished the session.

M.I.S: You passed out after a candlestick hit you on the head. 

Owen: Well no shit Sherlock.

M.I.S: Jesus! I'm trying to help you stop swearing!

Owen: Yeah well kiss my trainer's ass, fatty!

M.I.S: I'm your counselor!

Owen: Oh, yeah…you're fired!

M.I.S: You can't fire me!

Customball: Sure he can

Everyone: shuddup!

M.I.S: You're not my boss!

Customball: Wanna bet?

Everyone: shuddup!

M.I.S: You are such a little asshole!

Owen: *pulls pants higher* Wanna say that again?

M.I.S: You are such a little asshole!

Owen: Oh yeah? *pulls pants higher* Wanna say that again?

M.I.S: You are such a little asshole!

Owen: Oh yeah? *begins to sweat. Pulls pants higher* Wanna say that again?

M.I.S: You are such a little asshole!

Owen: I would ask you to say that again…*steps closer* but I can't pull my pants any higher! *walks back*

Mrs. Simmons: Owen, I think you owe Mr. uh…

M.I.S: _Elcartas de Seliagort mey Detfasr y Retrasado Anos!_

Customball: Ole!

Everyone: shuddup!

Mrs. Simmons: Mr….Smith an apology.

Owen: He can kiss my ass! *tackles M.I.S.*

M.I.S: Sir, please! *gets punched* AW! _Ayudame! Ayudame! Mierda! Ese daño! Párelo agujero del asno!_

Owen: Spanish freak! Give me back my wallet!'

M.I.S: _No hablar englis, senior! No comprhende! _

Owen: Don't gimme that! *punches M.I.S* You were talking in English before.

M.I.S: _Protectores! Ayudame por favor!_

**Maian from Perfect Dark comes in and drags Owen off M.I.S**

Owen: Who are you?

Maian: I am Protector One. But you may call me Elvis! *raises hands to the sky and screams*

**We are at the Cerulean City Hospital. Guy walks out and yawns**

Guy: Sorry we're closed.

Ash: But we have an emergency situation!

Nurse Joy: The Pokemon Center is all filled up!

**Scene moves to Owen, Mrs. Simmons, and M.I.S. in a hospital room**

Mrs. Simmons: I'm terribly sorry Mr…uh…Smith.

M.I.S: I DON'T GIVE A DAMN! OWEN HAS TO BE MOVED TO A SECURE FACILITY!

**Nazis walk in and begin to pull Mrs. Simmons and Owen apart. Owen reaches his hand out**

Owen: NOOOOOOOO!!! AAAAAAAAH!!! MAMA!!!

**Iron Gate in a nearby concentration camp begins to break apart**

Owen: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

**Iron Gate is being held only by a small metal bar. A nazi walks up and hits Owen in the face with the butt of a rifle, and stares dumfounded at the gate**

**Later, we are at an unknown island in the middle of nowhere. A helicopter flies off, and we see Owen shouting at his Customball**

Customball: I DID NOT DO THIS!

Owen: YES YOU DID! IT'S ALL YOU'RE FAULT! 

Customball: Why is it my fault?

Owen: BECAUSE IT IS!

Customball: Progress…

Owen: WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!

Customball: Nothing, except_ que vous êtes un horney peu hybride!_

Owen: You think I don't know Spanish? 

Customball: Yup! 'Cause that's French!

Owen: WHY IS EVERYONE FLUENT IN A FOREIGN LANGUAGE IN THIS FIC!

****

Cause I said so…

Owen: Yeah, well you can just rot in hell!

****

Tut tut tut! Language Owen!

Owen: Yeah? Well what're you going to do about it?

****

Oh…nothing of consequence. *disappears*

Owen: Friggin' little {censored}…HEY! WHAT THE {censored}?!?!?!

Customball: I think the author took away you're freedom of speech

Owen: Well no {censored} Sherlock!

Customball: But how did he do it?

Owen: WHATDYA MEAN?! HE'S THE AUTHOR! HE CAN DO WHATEVER HE WANTS!

Customball: Yes, but Irenicus always has a pattern. He'll never be supreme deity without having something happen in the story

Tai: Hey guys!

Owen: ACK! YOU AGAIN!

Matt: Yeah! How's it goin'?

Owen: Leave me alone! We had a deal!

Davis: But I couldn't help but find this. *holds up Eternal Box of Censoredness*

Owen: NOOOOOOOOOOO! *reaches hand out*

**Meanwhile, in Cerulean city**

Nazi: _Spaß!_

**Gate splits into a million pieces**

Other Nazi: _Ich bin ein Geleekrapfen!_

Nazi: Did you just say that you were a jelly doughnut?

Other Nazi: Yeah, why?

Nazi: Well, my colleague just screamed that he was a jelly doughnut, and I was wondering the reason.

Other Nazi: _Ich weiß nicht. Geklungen wie eine gute Sache, zu der Zeit zu sagen._

Nazi: What?

Other Nazi: IRENICUS! THIS IS YOUR FAULT! CURSE YOU! CURSE YOU!! I HOPE YOU GET A BAD REVIEW!!

****

Already happened bub. And I wouldn't curse my creator if I were you. Too bad.

Other Nazi: SO ANYWAY! HEY! I CAN'T TALK NORMALLY! I HATE YOU! I HOPE YOU CHOKE!

****

Heh heh heh. *gag! gasp* *disappears*

**And back at the (almost) deserted island**

Tai: So, we want a rematch.

Owen: Too bad!

Zak: I WANNA A REMATCH!

Owen: Hey, how'd you get here. How did the rest of you get here?

Matt: Well, ya see…We were at a counseling session, and for some reason, Davis spazzed out and started beating the counselor. Naturally, we had to help, so we're at a "secure facility."

Davis: Let's kick some Evil Butt!

Owen: Sounds exactly like what happened to me. Was the counselor Spanish?

Tai: Nope. Portuguese. 

Owen: Mumble grumble mum{censored}ble. Mumble (something about a {censored} Irenicus) grumble

Customball: Ya know, my joints are killing me, and my second neck aches like nothing else. Would you let me out, _por favor?_

Owen: Alright. *reaches for Customball and throws it*

**Mewtwo appears**

Mewtwo: Thanks! *looks around* Hey, this is where I grew up!

Someone: _Que pasa?_

**Everyone turns around and sees a man standing there, holding a guitar with his left and chewing on a jelly doughnut**

Davis: EVIL!!!! *jumps on guy and starts to beat him up* LET'S KICK SOME EVIL BUTT!

Guy: _Ayudame! Ayudame! POR FAVOR! PARADA! _

**Mewtwo floats over**

Mewtwo: Holla, senior! Es usted un buñuelo de la jalea?

Guy: *nods head vigorously* _Si! Si Senior Individuo anormal del demonio del monstruo!_

Owen: What'd you ask him?

Mewtwo: I wanted to know if he was a jelly doughnut

Owen: Ask his name, {censored}!

Mewtwo: Cuál es su nombre?

Guy: Joe Idiota Paco.

Owen: Joe Idiot Jacob? What kind of a name is that?!

Mewtwo: His, apparently

Zak: Aren't you Mr. Mac?

Owen: WHERE'D YOU COME FROM?!

Zak: Well, my mom made me go to this dumb counseling session, so I attacked the counselor, and they had to send me to a "secure facility."

Owen: Was the counselor Spanish?

Matt: Portuguese?

Zak: German.

Everyone: Ah.

Joe: Yo una parra!

Mewtwo: Usted esta si!

Zak: THAT'S MY DAD!

Owen: Joe? That's your Dad?

Zak: My real one. 

Owen: No wonder your mom made you go to a counseling session. 

Zak: How long are we going to be here?

Mewtwo: When the helicopter comes back. In the meantime, I'm going to build another fortress. I blew up my old one

Zak: This is Mewtwo's Island?

Tai: I guess. 

Mewtwo: Let's pretend I'm not here…

Matt: It might be his island. I never saw the movie.

Mewtwo: I was on TV? DUDE! That's awesome!

Davis: LET'S KICK SOME EVIL BUTT!

Owen: Mewtwo! There you are! Did you finish the fortress?

Mewtwo: What?

Owen: You said you were going to build a fortress!

Mewtwo: Huh?

Owen: "In the meantime, I'm going to build another fortress.

**Suddenly, a little yellow cloud flies down and who should appear but…*

Gohan: RAR! I'M GOHAN! I'M HERE TO AVENGE MY DAD!!!

Owen: Huh?

Zak: What?

Joe: Que?

Tai: Say what?

Matt: Gah…

Davis: LET'S KICK SOME EVIL BUTT!!!

Gohan: YOU KILLED MY DAD!! I'M HERE TO AVENGE HIM!!!

Mewtwo: He's lost it

Zak: I agree.

Owen: Thinks he's a super hero.

Tai: Poor guy.

Matt: So sad.

Joe: Goku es su padre.

Davis: Let's KICK SOME EVIL…BUTT!!!!!!

Gohan: *sweatdrop* You don't know who I am?

Mewtwo: Gorgon, or something, wasn't it?

Gohan: I am Gohan! The Avenger of…my dad!

Owen: …right. Well, we're busy. Maybe you could get back on your cloud and leave.

Gohan: Fine…*stands on cloud*

Cloud: spurr…sputter sputter sputter…wheeze…die…

Mewtwo: Maybe it evaporated

Gohan: DANGIT! This SUCKS! *tries to kick cloud, but foot goes through it and Gohan falls on his face*

Davis: Let's KICK SOME EVILLLLLLLLLL BUTT!!!

Owen: You know, that is REALLY getting annoying.

**Davis grins. Gohan starts to cry**

Mewtwo: WHAT?!?!?! MORONIC LITTLE BRAT! YOUR MOTHER WAS A {censored} {censored}…IRENICUS!!!!

Gohan: WAAAAAAAAAH!!! It's *sniff* not fair! *sob* PICCOLO!!!!!!  
**Piccolo appears**

Piccolo: What?

Gohan: HE CALLED MY MOM A {censored} {censored}!

Piccolo: No way! He called your mom a {censored} {censored}?!

Gohan: Yes! Those were his exact words! A {censored} {censored}!

Piccolo: I can't let ANYONE get away with calling your mom a {censored} {censored}!

Owen: What're you gonna do!

Piccolo: I CHALLENGE YOU!

**We fly at Mach2 off the island to a familiar Stadium somewhere in Johto. Piccolo is on a yellow cloud on the left side, while Owen stands in the Red Trainer's Box on the right side**

Owen: *pulls out Pokeball* GO! *throws Pokeball*

**Pidgeot appears**

Joe: MADRE DE DIOS! ES EL POLLO DIABLO!!!!!!!!! *runs around the stadium*

Matt: What's he doing?

**Joe is running around in his boxers screaming "J'aime Matt! J'aime Matt!"

Matt: Oh my God! *grabs Tai's shirt* Kill me now! PLEASE!

Joe: Matt! Je t'aime!!!!

**Matt sobs**

Tai: I thought you couldn't understand Spanish.

Matt: *sob* I can't! *sniff* It's French!

Zak: What's he saying, anyway? 

Matt: *Sob* I LOVE YOU MATT!! *sniff* WAAAAAAAH!!!

Mewtwo: Did Matt just say that he loves himself? Matt, you two are a skitz. Do you know what a Skitz is? It means Schizophrenic. 

Owen: Pidgeot! Use your…

**Mewtwo pushes Owen aside**

Mewtwo: I hate Dragonball Z! It's worse than Digimon!

Tai: HEY!

Owen: I actually think that Dragonball Z is a pretty respectable Anime.

****

So do I!

Everyone: GO AWAY!!!

****

Fine!*disappears*

Owen: But Pokemon could whup Dragonball Z any day.

Zak: Yup

Mewtwo: Oh yeah

Tai: Uh-huh

Matt: No doubt about it

Joe: Si!

Davis: LET'S KICK SOME EVIL (Dragonball Z) BUTT!!

Owen: Sheeeyudup!!!

Piccolo: We'll just see about that!

Gohan: Yeah!

Trunks: *chews popcorn* You know *smack* this would make a great *wolf* episode for both of the shows *chew*

Owen: How'd you get here?

Trunks: Same as Piccolo. I just did.

Mewtwo: Progress…

Trunks: What's that supposed to mean?

Mewtwo: Nothing, except _usted es un hijo retardado de una puta_

Joe: Oh querido!

Trunks: Ya think I don't know French?!

Mewtwo: Yup! 'Cause that's Spanish!

Trunks: I knew it! You called me a…

Mewtwo: A retarded son of a slutty whore

Trunks: Sorry, I wasn't paying attention. Please repeat it?

Mewtwo: Ah…nothing

Trunks: Tell me!

Mewtwo: It was nothing of consequence

Owen: No, it wasn't.

Trunks: Okay, I believe you.

Owen: It was just a plain, simple fact.

Trunks: I ALREADY SAID I BELIEVE YOU!

Owen: _Just_ making sure.

Matt: What were we talking about?

Owen: Birth parents.

Mewtwo: Seriously *thinks to Matt*

Matt: OH! Oh! Ohohohohohoh! That's not good!

**Kenny hops up**

Kenny: Hop hop hop! Hop like a bunny rabbit!

**Kenny hops away**

Matt: What?

Zak: I'm confused.

Gohan: Wait…

Everyone: IRENICUS!!!

****

What?

Piccolo: What was with the Kenny?

****

Heh heh heh…

Other Nazi: IS HE BOTHERING YOU TOO?

Owen: Why are you shouting?

Other Nazi: HE DID THIS TO ME!! IT'S ALL HIS FAULT! YA KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO GET A GERMAN CHICK WHEN YOU KEEP SHOUTING "OH- ja! Ich stimme zu! JA JA JA!" IT'S PRETTY FRUSTRATING!

Tai: What'd he say?

Nazi: "Oh yes! I agree! Yes yes yes!" I can see how.

Davis: I want a bunny!

Owen: What does THAT have to do with anything?

Davis: The guy hopped up and said to hop like a bunny rabbit!

Mewtwo: Why would you want bunnies? They breed like rabbits!

Owen: No duh!

Piccolo: Impressive, yes. Smart…I think I want a different anime rival.

****

You know, I'm still here…

Piccolo: *sweatdrop* gurk!

****

You wanna know what happens when someone says that about me?!

Piccolo: *shakes head*

****

You wanna know what happens when someone says that about me, followed by a gurk?!

Piccolo: No…

****

I get mad. VERY mad. I curse my characters!

Piccolo: No please…AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!! *pauses* !!!!!!!!HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Owen: What was that?

Piccolo: wonk t'nod I

Gohan: ACK! What did you do to him!?

****

Nothing of consequence…bye now! *disappears*

Piccolo: !enif leef I

Gohan: Oh…Shhhiii*remembers {censored}* taki Mushrooms

Matt: What?

Gohan: He's…purely dyslexic! 

Mewtwo: That'll be hard to understand

Tai: Ya know, you're pretty stupid.

Mewtwo: MEW SAYS I'M SPECIAL!!!!!!!

Owen: Yes you are…shuddup!

Zak: And what was it that you were sweat-dropping about in the first chapter.

Tai: Something about Mew being a girl.

Matt: Yeah, she told you something.

Owen: Clarify that, please.

Joe: Si! SI!

Tai: Eso no sonaba derecho. 

Joe: Pervertido.

Owen: You speak Spanish?

Tai: Yeah. You learn when you travel a lot. I've got my own show! *gets hit with a chair labeled [showoff]*

Owen: I thought we got rid of that…

Matt: What?

Zak: I'm confused.

Gohan: Wait…

Everyone: IRENICUS!!!

****

**There is NO reply**

Everyone: IRENICUS!!!

****

**There is NO reply. None**

Everyone: IRENICUS!!!

****

**YOU PEOPLE ARE STUPID!!! THERE IS NO REPLY WHATSOEVER! THAT MEANS NADA CONTESTACION, SENOR JOSEPH! NADA! ZIP! ZILCH! LEAVE ME ALONE SO I CAN TYPE THE BLOODY FIC!**

Joe: Oh.

Matt: Why do I not believe you…

****

** *disappears* I mean it!**

Mewtwo: Right…

**There is no reply**

Owen: I'll take that. Let's hurry up.

**Thank you**

**Everyone pauses, shrugs, and then continue normally**

Zak: First matter is…substitutes.

Owen: For what?

Tai: Swearwords, you [dumb @$$!][1]

Zak: Exactly.

Owen: Jeebus Fyste! Gimme back that Eternal Box of Censoredness!

Tai: No.

Owen: Yes.

Tai: No.

Owen: Yes.

Tai: No.

Owen: Yes.

Tai: No.

Owen: Yes.

Tai: No.

Owen: Yes.

Tai: No.

Owen: Yes.

Tai: No.

Owen: Yes.

Tai: No.

Owen: Yes.

Tai: No.

Owen: Yes.

Tai: No.

Owen: Yes.

Tai: No.

Owen: Yes.

Tai: No.

Owen: Yes.

Tai: Yes.

Owen: No.

Tai: Yes.

Owen: No.

Tai: YES! TAKE IT ALREADY! *thrusts the Eternal Box of Censoredness into Owen's hands*

Owen: Fine. Jeez, don't have a cow.

Piccolo: !Oom

Gohan: What?

Mewtwo: I think he tried to say Moo!

**Piccolo tries to speak in sign language, then realizing that his fingers are moving backwards as well**

Tai: Dude. That looks kinda freaky.

Owen: Maybe it's a psycho double-jointed thing.

Piccolo: Um tryeng to ace yes!

Tai: I think he talked normally.

Davis: It's simple really. Irenicus simply reversed Piccolo's vocal chord movements, and everything else that is in his body. If you check his pulse you'll find it quite fascinating. Piccolo is merely doing everything backwards, therefore reversing his _already_ reversed vocal chords, and therefore, speaking normally.

**Everyone stares dumfounded at Davis**

Davis: What? I don't sleep _all_ the time through my classes.

Mewtwo: *head on Piccolo's chest* WHOAH! It's like… the Macarina!

Tai: Really? *checks Piccolo's chest* Hey! Cool!

Mewtwo: HEEEYYY Macarina HAHA! *starts to wiggle tail and snap thumbs*

Trunks: Sick…

**Mewtwo's second neck begins to wobble back and forth in what resembles the Mambo**

Gohan: How do you do that?

Mewtwo: Simple. *snap* It's another few joints! *wiggle*

Owen: What's the second neck for, anyway?

Mewtwo: It's for support. The lab man made my first neck too skinny, so this one keeps my head normal. I also think it helps my psychic powers channel throughout my body. HEY! WHAT'RE YOU DOING?!?!

Davis: *head on Mewtwo's chest* Grooooovy!

Mewtwo: Groovy?

Owen: *puts head on Mewtwo's chest* Tubular dude! It's like…N'Sync!

Zak: Really?! *puts head on Mewtwo's chest*

Matt: I LOVE YOU N'SYNC! *runs up to Mewtwo's chest and screams shrilly while waving his arms around.

Mewtwo: Yes, well if you're done using me as an alternative to Napster, I'd like to get back to the point!

Piccolo: Wht ws taht…that?

Trunks: Didn't you challenge him to a duel?

Piccolo: I cn't battal him lick this!!!

Gohan: Sure you can!

Zak: Just do everything backwards!

Trunks: Everything will be back to normal!

Piccolo: Up shut!

Pidgeot: Pid!

Joe: AAAIEEEEE! MADRE DE DIOS! ES EL POLLO DIABLO! AYUDAME! AYUDAME! ES EL POLLO DIABLO! EJECUTESE POR SUS VIDAS!

Mewtwo: I think he's scared of the Pidgeot

Owen: Why?

Mewtwo: "AAAIEEEEE! MADRE DE DIOS! ES EL POLLO DIABLO! AYUDAME! AYUDAME! ES EL POLLO DIABLO! EJECUTESE POR SUS VIDAS!" Translation: AAAIEEEE! MOTHER OF GOD! IT'S THE DEVIL CHICKIN! HELP ME! HELP ME! IT'S THE DEVIL CHICKIN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! I think he's scared

Owen: Alright. Pidgeot, return. *holds up Pokeball. Pidgeot returns*

**Joe stops running around screaming MADRE DE DIOS! And continues to shout J'aime Matt! J'aime Matt!**

Matt: Aw man! Not again…

Joe: J'aime Matt!

Matt: IRENICUS!!!

****

WHAT?!!?

Matt: Make Joe cut it out!

****

WHY?!?

Matt: Because he keeps shouting, "I love Matt!" in French!

****

SO?!?!

Matt: IT'S ANNOYING! MAKE HIM STOP!

****

OH…ALRIGHT! NOW LEAVE ME ALONE!

Matt: Thanks!

****

BYE!

Matt: Oh…and if you have time…

****

SHUDDUP!

Matt: Well, what if I don't want to?

****

I'll make you speak backwards…

Matt: Sorry! I'll be quiet…

****

Good. BYE! *disappears*

Owen: What were we talking about?

Trunks: Piccolo wants to fight you.

Piccolo: No I dno't!

Trunks: Ya see? He said, No I…dunno.

Piccolo: Yuo ittlel strabda!

Gohan: But he called my mom a {censored} {censored}!

Zak: He obviously won't battle us when he's backwards…

Owen: Excuse me?

Mewtwo: "Us?"

Zak: Yeah…I've been training my Pokemon a lot.

Tai: GET REAL!

Davis: With Arctic Circle. Our burgers are made of real Black Angus beef. So they're juicier, and they taste better! And while you're here, try our new…

All: SHUT THE {censored} UP!

Joe: GAH! *runs off*

Owen: Where's he going?

Trunks: Maybe he realized that this isn't Mexico but Japan, and decided to go back to his dirty comrades.

Owen: Now that was…racist.

Matt: What gives you the right to say that you're better than everyone else?

Mewtwo: Besides. This isn't Japan. It's nearby Old Shore Wharf. We're somewhere in England

Trunks: Yeah yeah. I heard it all before. "No one is born a bigot." Well they can kiss my…{censored} *gets hit with a Pokeball labeled {censored}* AG! WHAT THE {censored} *gets hit with a Pokeball labeled {censored}*

Owen: IT'S JOE!

**Joe is standing behind Trunks with a truck filled with chairs, anvils, Pokeballs, hockey sticks, mallets, and a few chickens**

Gohan: I don't get it…

Piccolo: *shakes head and shrugs*

Trunks: I knew it! ALL Mexicans are psychotic terrorists! 

Joe: *gasps and reaches into the truck. After a moment of searching he pulls something out* Heh heh heh…

Trunks: Aw SHIT!

Owen: Hey! No censored!

Matt: *holds up the Eternal Box of Censoredness* It works! Hey… uh-oh. *the Eternal Box of Censoredness fizzles with lightning*

Mewtwo: Uh, guys…

Joe: HYA! WHA HYA HYA HYA! HAHAHAHAHA!

Owen: RUN FOR YOUR MISERABLE LIVES!

Joe: NOW YOU DIE!

Trunks: Run! THE SPANISH FREAK SPEAKS ENGLISH!

Piccolo: What's E lding anyway?

Tai: I dunno.

Matt: What? 

Zak: I'm confused…

Gohan: Wait…

All: IRENICUS!!!

****

WHAT THE HELL?!

Mewtwo: WHAT'S WITH JOE?!

****

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!

Mewtwo: WHAT'S WITH HIM? WE DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE BEING CHASED WITH! YOU HAVEN'T WRITTEN IT YET!

****

Oh…that. Yeah. That would be something to complain about…I'm getting to that…okay.

Nazi: Where's my ammunition supply?

Joe: *grins* Heh heh heh…

Trunks: Aw SHIT!

Owen: Hey! No censored!

Matt: *holds up the Eternal Box of Censoredness* It works! Hey… uh-oh. *the Eternal Box of Censoredness fizzles with lightning*

Mewtwo: Uh, guys…

Joe: HYA! WHA HYA HYA HYA! HAHAHAHAHA!

Owen: RUN FOR YOUR MISERABLE LIVES!

Joe: NOW YOU DIE!

Trunks: Run! THE SPANISH FREAK SPEAKS ENGLISH!

Owen: This all seems very familiar…

Matt: What?

Zak: I'm confused…

Gohan: Wait…

All: IRENICUS!!

****

**There is no reply**

Mewtwo: DON'T GIMME THAT! WE KNOW THAT YOU'RE THERE!

****

**Yeah, so what?**

Mewtwo: Give Joe his weapon

****

**I don't wanna!**

Mewtwo: Give it to him…

****

**I DON WANNA! NO NO NO NO NO!**

Mewtwo: That's enough…GO TO YOUR POKEBALL!

****

**PLAGERISM!**

Mewtwo: How?!

****

**Let me explain…**

[Flashback]

__

Mewtwo: Well, how 'bout if I just buy him several drinks, get 'im drunk, have him pass out, and he'll wake up with a colossal headache!

Trainer#2: Good idea. No.

Mewtwo: But…

Trainer#2: I said NO!

Mewtwo: WAAAAAAAAH! I wanna d0rink! I WANNA DRINK! I WANNA! I WANNA! I WANNA!

Trainer#2: That's enough! GO TO YOUR POKEBALL!

Mewtwo: *happily* Okay!

Trainer#2: NO!

[End Flashback]

****

**You see?**

Owen: But I said that…

Mewtwo: So did I…

Matt: What?

Zak: I'm confused.

Gohan: Wait…

All: IRENICUS!!!

****

**WHAT THE HELL?! I'M STILL HERE!!!!!!!!!! JESUS CHRIST! YOU PEOPLE ARE FUCKING MORONS!**

Owen: I thought that there was ****No Reply**** What's the deal?

Trunks: I'm going to get some pop corn.

Joe: Heh heh heh. Now I shall KEEL you all!!!

Piccolo: Nd wht s kwrt…

****

**I hate that. Shuddup**

Piccolo: No. HEY COOL! Thanks!

****

**Don't mention it. Seriously, or you shall talk backwards again**

Piccolo: But what is with that? I mean, one moment he's…

Trunks: A dirty Mexican

Piccolo: …while Trunks is a racist Transvestite…

Trunks: HEY!

Piccolo: …the point is, why does the Spanish guy suddenly start speaking English?

****

**I got bored of trying to figure out how to work with the verbs**

All: Ah.

Joe: Owen…

Owen: What?

Joe: I…I…I NEVER LOVED YOU!! MWAH HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Trunks: I hate women…

Piccolo: Correction. Trunks is a racist, SEXIST transvestite…

Tai: How does that work?

Matt: I know. How are you a sexist transvestite?

Other Nazi: Well, this is Trunks we're talking about…

Trunks: MEN ARE SUPERIOR!

Mewtwo: Where's Davis and Gohan?

Zak: I dunno…

TV screen: Staticstaticstaticstaticstaticstaticstaticstaticstaticstaticstaticstaticstatic…

Davis: Wooo WHOOOOOO!!!

Gohan: Dis is da bomb!

Nazi: What are you doing?

Davis: We're watching Buffy!

Zak: You watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer?

Gohan: "Buffy the Vampire Slayer?" Who the {censored}is that?! We're watching Buddy the Super Crazy Action Dog!

Mewtwo: Really? I LOVE THAT SHOW!

****

You know…I have a fic to finish.

Owen: What am I supposed to do?

****

You're supposed to fight Team Dragonball Z. 

Owen: Just write it in another chapter.

****

Good idea!

Now I shall leave you all in suspense! Who will win? Dragonball Z or Pokemon? It's a fixed program, but I'm not going to tell you! I'm going to leave you begging for the next chapter. (Actually I'm hoping that you actually read this far and that you'll review my story)

~ Irenicus

   [1]: mailto:dumb@$$!



	2. An Average Day in...The Life of a {censo...

An Average Day in… ****

An Average Day in….

THE LIFE OF A {censored} POKEMON TRAINER

**We are flying at Mach2 across an ocean to a small island in the middle of nowhere. We see some kids, a big green guy with antennas sticking out of his head and a big white supermonster type creature sitting down crowded around a five inch TV, while a Spanish man is running around in his boxers shouting, "J'aime Matt! J'aime Matt!" which is "I love Matt" in French**

All: Yeah!!

Man: J'aime Matt! J'aime Matt!

Matt: Joe, SHUT THE HELL UP!

Joe: No, senor! 

Matt: I don't love you!

Joe: Si senor! 

Matt: Oh God. How do you say I don't love you?

Mewtwo: Yo tu odio…

Matt: Yo tu odio!

Joe: Gack…NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! *starts to cry*

Mewtwo: That actually means, "I Hate You," but oh well…

Tai: Aw Jesus! Look what ya did!

Matt: You don't know what it's like to see people in their underpants running around shouting that they love you in multi-languages!

Piccolo: Actually…

Gohan: Piccolo, he means people of the same sex.

Piccolo: Damn!

Zak: Now why was it that there is no {censorship} again?

Mewtwo: Cause we're watching TV

Davis: Buffy's gonna kick Evil Vampiric Pussycat Butt!

Owen: Sssh! Quiet!

TV: blam blam! Smack! Kick punch! Ratatatatatatatatatat! _Now watch me kill you, Buffy the Super Crazy Action Dog!_

All: NOOOOOOOOO!

TV: _Ruff ruff! I shall not lose, Evil Vampiric Pussycat! Ruff ruff! _Will Buffy survive the writhing pool of kitty litter? Find out on the next exciting episode of…BUFFY! The SUPER CRAZY ACTION DAWG!! *power flicks off*

All: NOOOOOOOOO!

Joe: Que?

Owen: Now that the TV is off, the Eternal Box of Censoredness turns on!

Davis: {censored}!

Trunks: *eating popcorn* Whatever. Didn't we have to do something?

Zak: I don't know.

Mewtwo: I remember we were doing something before we started watching TV

Trunks: No {censored} Sherlock!

Davis: I know!

Trunks: *rolls eyes* finally…

Davis: LET'S KICK SOME EVIL BUTT!

Owen: *grabs Davis by the neck and starts to strangle* WILL YOU JUST SHUT THE {censored} UP WITH THE FRIGGIN' EVIL BUTT THING! YOU ARE SO {censored} RETARDED! THAT IS SO ANNOYING! GET A LIFE YOU {censored} {censored} son of a {censored} {censored}! WHEN I GET THAT {censored} BOX TURNED OFF I'LL… *gets hit wit a barrage of Hockey Sticks, chairs, mallets, anvils, Pokeballs, a few chickens and a TV labeled {censored}* {censored} {censored}! IRENICUS! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!?!?

****

It's so much fun.

Owen: WILL YOU JUST STOP IT!?

****

Well…I guess I could.

Owen: Thank you!

****

No.

Owen: What?

****

No.

Owen: You won't stop?

****

No.

Owen: Please?

****

No.

Owen: Please?

****

No.

Owen: Please?

****

No.

Owen: Please?

****

No.

Owen: Please?

****

No.

Owen: Please?

****

No.

Owen: Please?

****

No.

Owen: Please?

****

No.

Davis: How long is this fic going to be?

****

What the…where'd that come from?

Davis: I was just wondering.

****

Well…since you asked…about the same as the others.

Davis: How long is that?

****

You are the Weakest Link! Goodbye! *disappears*

Zak: Aw man! Now we'll never know what we were supposed to do.

Trunks: Sure we do. We all vote.

Joe: Donde esta mi bistek muhar?!

Mewtwo: I wasn't aware that you had one in the first place

Zak: What'd he ask? 

Mewtwo: Nothing that your virgin ears need to know

Trunks: Ooh!

Owen: That was almost as disturbing as Mewtwo's heartbeat.

Matt: I LOVE N'SYNC!

Mewtwo: And I love the Macarina. But I still don't want you guys clutching my chest as if I'm a plastic human woman

Tai: *grins evilly* that brings back memories…

Trunks: Exactly what did you do while you were traveling?

Tai: Japanese women have the nicest…

**Irenicus appears**

Tai: …biggest…

**Irenicus fumbles with his pockets**

Tai: …smoothest…

**Irenicus pulls something out** 

Tai: …{censored you perverted son of a slutty whore. Say something like that again and I will knock you outta the fic}…

**Irenicus disappears**

Tai: Whoa! That was a really long censorship…

**Sean walks up**

Sean: Holla! Me llamo Susan!

**Sean walks away**

Gohan: I sense something afoot.

Trunks: It might be related to…

Mewtwo: Timmy!

Zak: What?

Mewtwo: Timmy!

Joe: Que?

Mewtwo: TIMMY!

Matt: Who?

Mewtwo: Timmy?

Owen: Huh?

Mewtwo: Timmy

Piccolo: He just wants attention

Mewtwo: Shut up! You're ruining my plan!

Piccolo: What plan?

Mewtwo: Don't pretend you don't know. You're one of…THEM! YOU'RE the one who murdered Mrs. Johnson!

Piccolo: Who's them? And why would I be caught up in some stupid secret organization? And who's Mrs. Johnson?

Mewtwo: Yeer just jealous!

Piccolo: About what?

Mewtwo: …lemme think…

Piccolo: *taps foot*

Mewtwo: …

Piccolo: *taps foot faster*

Mewtwo: …

Piccolo: *taps foot at speed of sound*

Mewtwo: …

Piccolo: *taps foot so fast that he sssslllooooowwwlllyyyy ssssttttaaaarrrrttttssss ttttooooooooo ssssstttttooooppppppp tttttttiiiiiiiimmmmmmmmeeeeeee* 

Mewtwo: *snaps fingers*

Piccolo: *jerks awake* Wha?

Mewtwo: Yeer jealous 'cause I can do this and you can't!

Piccolo: Do what?!

Mewtwo: *starts to tap dance*

Owen: Oh my {censored}! Not this…NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Mewtwo: *turns into a fluffy canary wearing a tutu*

Zak: *shivers* I don't feel too good…

Canary: *hands Zak a toilet*

Zak: *pukes into toilet and flushes toilet. Puke flies out of the bottom*

Piccolo: HIT THE DECK! *ducks*

Tai: KISS THE DIRT! *kisses dirt*

Matt: RUN FOR YOUR MISERABLE LIVES! *runs for all his pathetic life*

Owen: I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE! *holds head and starts to scream*

Joe: DUCK! *ducks*

**Canary turns into a duck**

Joe: MADRE DE DIOS! ES EL POLLO DEMONIO! 

**Duck turns into feathered demon**

Trunks: What's going on? *gets splattered by puke*

Zak: None of this would've happened if it weren't for…THEM! *points at Mewtwo (now himself again) and Piccolo*

Davis: *looks at Mewtwo and gasps* Your one of them! AAAAAAAAH! *runs into Piccolo* SO ARE YOU! I SWEAR I DIDN'T MEAN TO!

Mewtwo: What the hell?

Gohan: Why does he get away with that?

[Flashback]

__

Mewtwo: Damn!

Trainer#2: NO CENSOR FOR HIM?!?!

Announcer: Mewtwo cannot talk vocally. Therefore, he is technically not saying the word, so we can't get mad at him. You swear in your thoughts without knowing it every four seconds. That's the majority of the population on the earth. It probably happens a lot more with you.

Mewtwo: Damn!

[End Flashback]

Gohan: Well that sucks.

Mewtwo: Deal with it, bitch

Owen: Your just rubbing it in…

Mewtwo: Rub rub rub rub! Tummy rub me you fucking bastard

Trunks: We still need to vote…

Gohan: Okay then, let's vote!

Mewtwo: On what?

Trunks: Who says we fight?

**Owen, Trunks, Mewtwo, Joe and Gohan raise their hands** 

Zak: Who says we watch TV?

**Zak, Davis, Tai, Matt and Piccolo raise their hands**

Trunks: This presents a problem.

Owen: NS Sherlock.

Zak: There is only one way to settle this…

Owen & Zak: A POKEMON BATTLE!

****

**Dun dun duuuunnn!**

All: WELL NOBODY ASKED YOU!

****

**Yeah, so what?** *disappears*

Davis: LET'S KICK SOME evil BUTTTT!!!

Nazi: Hey we didn't vote yet.

Other Nazi: I thought this was a democracy!

Trunks: Fine. Do you want to battle *Other Nazi raises hand* or do you want to watch TV? *Nazi raises hand*

Piccolo: Well, that's an improvement…

**We are now flying at Mach2 for a tad while until we arrive in a familiar Stadium somewhere in Johto. Zak is in the Green Trainer's Box, while Owen is in the Red Trainer's Box.**

Zak: GOOOOOOO!!! *throws Pokeball*

Piccolo: I change my vote! *shoots big energy beam*

**Pokeball is in mid-air**

Mewtwo: Fine! Let's fight! *throws Psyball*

**Pokeball is about to open**

**Piccolo's beam hits the Pokeball**

**Mewtwo's Psyball hits the Pokeball**

**Pokeball opens**

**Eich bin ein berliner!**

Gohan: What?!

**Nothing**

**The Pokeball opens, revealing a stick figure Pokemon with a giant head. The Pokemon is wielding an eight-track**

Owen: What is that?

Pokemon: Nts! Ntsntsntsntsntsntsntsnts! NTS! *starts to fiddle with eight-track*

Mewtwo: Ahem. Nts. (_nnts_) The Rap Pokemon. This Pokemon is very rare and has an unintentional habit of playing the eight-track. This Pokemon can be created by having a member of the Dragonball Z team shoot an energy beam while an extremely handsome psychic Pokemon chucks a Psyball at a Pokeball

Gohan: All of that made sense except the part about the…um…

Nazi: Extremely handsome Psychic Pokemon.

Owen: What's with the Dexter impression?

Mewtwo: It's my chance back into Hollywood!

Owen: …rrrriiiiiighttt…

Other Nazi: Now anyway…

****

HEY! I REMEMBER YOU!!!!

Other Nazi: Aw man! This is gonna…*gets zapped* SUCK! MAN! WHAT IS WITH YOU?!?!?!

****

Heh heh heh…bye now! *disappears*

Other Nazi: THIS SUCKS! NO MORE GERMAN CHICKS FOR A LOOOOOONG TIME! 

**Nightcrawler appears**

Nightcrawler: Tell me about it. I don't even know why I'm even in a Pokemon FanFic. I'm supposed to be in X-Men!

Other Nazi: TAKE ME WITH YOU!! PLEASE!

Nazi: No! I won't leave you! I'll never let go! *Other Nazi gets turned to ice* I'll never let go. I'll never let…EWWWW! GROSS! I'm holding hands with a dead guy! Yech!

**Nightcrawler, Nazi, and Other Nazi disappear**

Nts: Ntsntsntsntsntsntsntsntsntsntsntsnts! NTS! NTS! NTS! *fiddles with eight-track*

Piccolo: I suppose we have to fight now…

**We fly at Mach2 until we realize that we are already at the stadium somewhere in Johto, and decide to turn around. Owen is in the Red Trainer's Box. Mewtwo is floating next to him. Piccolo, Trunks, and Gohan are flying in the air opposite of Owen and Mewtwo, where the Green Trainer's Box used to be.**

Piccolo: You sure you don't wanna back out?!

Owen: Hell yeah!

Davis: LET'S KICK SOME EVIL BUTT!!!!!

Mewtwo: *gasp* You swore!

Owen: No shit Sherlock!

Mewtwo: I mean, no {censored}

Owen: Hey! That's right!

****

A little gift from Yours Truly…

**Eternal Box of Censoredness drops from the sky and bursts into pieces.

Owen: God dammit! I was hoping to do things with that!

Zak: *raises eyebrow* You were going to masturbate with the Eternal Box of Censoredness?

Owen: Oh God. No! I was going to change my name again. Or yours…

****

That could be arranged…

Owen: NO! PLEASE! I BEG OF YOU!

**Eternal Box of Censoredness repairs itself**

Owen: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *reaches hand out*

**Meanwhile in Cerulean City…**

Nightcrawler: Wooowhoooo! Dis is de bomb! 

Nazi: Yeah!

Other Nazi: HEY! WHAT IS GOING ON OVER THERE!?!

**Iron Gate materializes**

Nazi: Spab! 

**Iron Gate explodes**

Nazi: Eich bin ein Geleekbrafen!

Other Nazi: DID YOU JUST SAY THAT YOU WERE A JELLY DOUGHNUT?!?

Nightcrawler: Sounds like it.

**Back to the Stadium**

Owen: I hate the Eternal Box of Censoredness!

****

Too bad…bye now! *disappears*

Joe: J'aime Matt! J'aime Matt!

Matt: *grabs Tai's shirt* Kill me now! PLEASE!

Tai: What?

Mewtwo: He's still upset that Joe loves him. I think it's cute

Matt: *sweatdrop* 0_o? What the heck?

Mewtwo: What?

Matt: You think that it's cute?

Mewtwo: *blushes* Well…yeah…sorta…it reminds me of...of…of…*starts to cry*

Trunks: What?!

Tai: What's with you?!

Davis: Let's kick some Evil Butt!

**Joe is watching the second episode of…BUFFY the Super Crazy Action Dog!!!!!**

Joe: Oi! EEK! AIEEEE! NO!!!! LA BUFFY ES GATO! NO PERRO!

Mewtwo: BUFFY ISN'T A DOG?! SHE'S A CAT?!?!?!

TV: _uh…welllllll…yeah I guess…IT TURNS OUT THAT OUR HERO IS REALLY A CAT! _Bambambambam! Ratatatatatatatatata! AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! BANG! BOOM! BOOM! BOOOOOOOM!!!!!!! _No Evil Vampiric Pussycat! You shall be killed now!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!! Dee dededeee deee deeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!! DUN! But is Evil Vampiric Pussycat really dead?! Find out on the next episode of Buffy! The SUPER CRAZY ACTION DAWG!!! Er CAAAAAAAAT!_

Trunks: Why do you watch that stupid show?

Gohan: 'Cause it's cool.

Trunks: No it's not.

Gohan: Yes it is.

Trunks: No. It's not!

Gohan: Yes. IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

****

A/N: I apologize for the inconvenience of having you scroll through this. ~ Irenicus 

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

****

**Three Hours Later**

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

****

A/N: Again, I apologize for the inconvenience, but it's almost over. ~ Irenicus

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: NO IT'S NOT!

Gohan: YES IT IS!

Trunks: OKAY! IT IS!

Gohan: No it's not!

Trunks: YES IT IS!

Gohan: NO IT'S NOT! DAMN YOU!

Trunks: FUCK YOU!

Gohan: FUCK YOSHIROBI! HE'S FINE!

Owen: DAMMIT! YOU'VE ALREADY TAKEN UP FIVE FUCKIN' PAGES IN THIS DAMN FIC! I HATE YOU, YOU GODDAMN SON OF A BITCHEN SLUTTY WHORE! YOU ARE SUCH A MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!!!!!!

**Goku flies down**

Goku: I'm appalled at your language son! You should be ashamed of yourself! Where'd you pick that up?!

Owen: *sweatdrop* Um…I'm not your son. *points to Gohan* He is.

Goku: Oh…*turns to Gohan* I'm appalled at your language son! You should be ashamed of yourself! Where'd you pick that up?!

Gohan: Mom taught me! *smiles*

Goku: God Dammit! She is such a cussing slut!

All: *gasp*

Davis: Tee hee hee! *holds up screwdriver*

Owen: No…please…*gasp*

Davis: HWAAAA heeeeheeheeheeheehee! *holds up Eternal Box of Censoredness*

Owen: MY SOURCE OF POWER! *leaps into the air and tackles Davis in slow-motion*

Davis: AWWWWWWWWW HHHAAAAAA HAAAAAA HAAAAAA HAAAA HAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

Owen: GGGGGIIIIVVVVEEEEE TTHHHHHHAAAATTTTT TTTTTOOOOOOO MMMMEEEEE YYYYOOOOOUUUUU BBBBAAAASSTTTAAAARRRRDDDDD!!

Davis: Fine. *gives Owen the Eternal Box of Censoredness*

Owen: Yes, YES, YESSS!!!

Mewtwo: That sounds…bad

**Lightning strikes the Eternal Box of Censoredness**

Owen: *pauses for a moment, holding remains of Eternal Box of Censoredness* No, NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Mewtwo: *pats Owen on the back* It's okay. It happens to all of us sometimes…

Owen: It's not fair! I WANT THE BOX BACK!!!! *sob* IRENICUS! PLEASE *sniffle* WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!

****

No.

Zak: Please?

****

No.

Mewtwo: To shut him up?

****

No.

Tai: I'll let you watch my show for free…

****

No, no and NO!

Goku: For me?

****

Well…since you asked nicely…

All: *sigh*

****

No.

**Kenny hops up**

Kenny: Hop hop hop! Hop like you love me!

**Kenny hops off**

**Davis starts to hop**

Mewtwo: DAMN YOU AND YOUR DAILY DOUBLES IRENICUS!

Sean Connery: No, no. Isht's, "Damn you and your daily doubles, Trrrebek!

**Carbon-Based Biped appears**

Carbon-Based Biped: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! GOD DAMN YOU IRENICUS! I WAS TRYING TO WRITE A STORY ABOUT…um…um…I WAS TRYING TO WRITE A STORY!!!!!

****

About me? I'm touched…

Carbon-Based Biped: Uh….yeah…ABOUT YOU! WHY'D YOU DO THIS TO ME?!

****

Well…okay…but dinner tonight!

Carbon-Based Biped: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO….

**Carbon-Based Biped disappears**

****

You better give me a good review…*disappears*

Sean Connery: A battle between two authors…*strokes beard* interesting…

Owen: Right. Anyway…MEWTWO USE YOUR

Mewtwo: GOD DAMNED FUCKING ATTACK! LEAVE ME ALONE YOU FREAK OF NATURE!

Owen: ShuddUP. Attack it.

Mewtwo: You REJECT!

Owen: How'd you know about my girlfriend?

Mewtwo: Owen…I AM…your girlfriend!

Owen: Nooo…that's not true! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!

Mewtwo: Search your feelings, you KNOW it to be true!

Owen: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! *reaches hand out*

**Meanwhile, in Cerulean City**

**Iron Gate materializes again**

Nightcrawler: Déjà vu!

Other Nazi: NUMBER TWO!

Nazi: You're a piece of scheiße!

Nightcrawler: That doesn't rhyme!

**Iron Gate explodes again**

Nazi: Spab!

Nightcrawler: What the heck?!

Other Nazi: THAT'S TWICE!!!

**Zip back to the Stadium**

Piccolo: No more distractions! The readers are getting bored!

Gohan: Let's fight!

Owen: Okay!

Mewtwo: Wait a minute!

Trunks: WHAT?!

Mewtwo: It's uneven!

Goku: How?!

Mewtwo: It's two to four. Me and Owen vs. Goku, Trunks, Gohan, and Piccolo!

Zak: I'll fight!

Mewtwo: It's still uneven

****

I suppose since your not going to swear anymore… *disappears*

Owen: NOOOOOOOOO! {censored} {censored}!

**Will appears**

**Will explodes**

Joe: Que?

Goku: WHAT THE HECK?!

Mewtwo: Who will join us?

**Mew flies down**

Mewtwo: Will you join in our crusade? Who will be strong and stand with me?

Owen: Beyond the barricade is there a world you long to see?

Mewtwo & Owen: Then join in the fight that will give you the right to be freeeeeeee!

All: DO YOU HEAR THE PEOPLE SING?! SINGING THE SONG OF ANGRY MEN?

IT IS THE MUSIC OF A PEOPLE WHO WILL NOT BE SLAVES AGAAIINNNN!!!!

WHEN THE BEATING OF YOUR HEART, ECHOES THE BEATING OF THE…

Mew: Mew?

Zak: I feel stupid.

Owen: You look stupid.

Mewtwo: You are stupid

Piccolo: I'm ingenious!

Mewtwo: …riiiiiiiiighhhtttttttt

Goku: I've had enough of this. *shoots energy ball at Mewtwo*

Mewtwo: So…Your smarter than you look *uses barrier. Energy beam bounces harmlessly off*

Goku: Ho! Ye'll not git away wit that fer long!

Mewtwo: *raises eyebrow* Whatever *throws Psyball*

Goku: Well then. Let's ALL join the fray. Kao Ken. TIMES FIFTEEN! *Goku starts to glow with power*

Gohan: I'll take the small flying one. 

Owen & Zak: *pull out Pokeballs* GO! *throw Pokeballs*

**Scizzor appears**

**Ampharos appears**

Owen: *looks at Zak* You've been training.

Owen: *grabs hair and starts to rip it out* GGGGGGGGGG!!! No drama! NO DRAMA! PLEASE!

Mew: Mmmeeeewwwwwwww…*starts to glow pink*

Gohan: TAKE THIS! *throws energy ball*

**Mew shoots out Psyfire. The two collide in a massive explosion, showering the stadium in fire. Somebody nearby starts to film "This epic event."**

Trunks: Well kid *points at Zak* Let's see what you got.

Piccolo: Owen, you're the last person. I CHOOSE YOU!

Ash: Do you know the meaning of plagiarism?

Brock: That is so our line…

Misty: I'M GETTING A LAWYER!

Tai: How'd you all get here?

Matt: Look! *points at crowd. Stands are filled with thousands of fans. Some Dragonball Z, some Pokemon, some Digimon. Joe is running around shouting his usual line.*

Kahlia: *in crowd with binoculars* Hey look! There's Matt!

Sora: Really?

Kahlia & Sora: WE LOVE YOU MATT! *wave arms around* OOOHHH! HE SEES ME! HE'S SO SEXY!!!

Matt: *gulp* *sweatdrop* …help…please…

Davis: I LOVE MATT!

Matt: *grabs Tai's collar* Tai, ya know that Desert Eagle I kept in Tokyo hidden under my pillow ?

Tai: yeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaahhh….

Matt: Go get it. NOW!

**Tai runs to Tokyo**

**Tai runs back**

Tai: Ya know that Desert Eagle you kept in Tokyo hidden under your pillow?

Matt: yeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaahhh….

Tai: Your mom found out.

**Matt's mom is in the crowd shaking a Desert Eagle and her middle finger at Matt**

Matt: Gah! *bashes his head on Trainer's Box*

**Mewtwo shoots Psyfire at Goku. Goku collapses on the dirt. He lies unmoving with his hands outstretched into the air**

Mewtwo: Irenicus. This is the action/adventure part of the fic. Why are his arms up?

****

I'm not going to tell you…

Mewtwo: DAMMIT! Fine. I'll just wait…

****

Okay. You lose…

**Ten minutes later**

**Goku jumps up. Goku throws large blue ball of energy.**

Goku: Ha HA! Take that!

Crowd: OOOOH! A SPIRIT BOMB!

Mewtwo: Heh… *Mewtwo holds one arm in front of his face and uses reflect. Spirit Bomb flies back at Goku*

Goku: Clever. *outstretches one hand. Spirit Bomb bounces off hand and flies at Mewtwo*

**Mewtwo laughs and uses reflect again. Spirit Bomb bounces back at Goku. Goku outstretches arm and it bounces back at Mewtwo. Spirit Bomb bounces back and forth between the two combatants as if it were a ping pong ball. It speeds up extremely. Goku and Mewtwo reflect at the same time and it bounces to the side**

Davis: *holding Desert Eagle* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAha…ha…hu-oh. *sees Spirit Bomb*

**A few seconds later, the Stadium is engulfed in light. Davis is gone.**

Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!

Davis: Whoa! That felt weird. 

**Davis is flying at Mach69 away from the Stadium. He circles the planet a few million times until he is flying at Mach68…'Nuff said**

Goku: You have a lot of spirit. 

Mewtwo: Pun appreciated

Goku: Dost thou mock me?

Mewtwo: Si

Goku: You think I don't know Canadanadian?

Mewtwo: What?

Goku: Can-a-da-na-di-an.

Mewtwo: Well, your pretty stupid. First of all, Canadanadian is Canadian

Goku: IS NOT!

Mewtwo: Is too

Goku: IS NOT!

Mewtwo: IS TOO!

****

CUT IT OUT!

Mewtwo: Ahem. Second, Canadians speak English

Goku: AND FRENCH!

Mewtwo: Thirdly, it's Spanish. You really are retarded

Goku: Care to say that again?

Mewtwo: You really are retarded

Goku: I dare you to say that again!

Mewtwo: You really are retarded

Goku: I DOUBLE dare you to say that again!

Mewtwo: You really are retarded

Goku: I double DOG dare to say that again!

Mewtwo: You really are retarded

Goku: I TRIPLE dare you to say that again!

Mewtwo: You really are retarded

Goku: I triple DOG with scratchy-BUTT dare you to say that again!

**This continues. Meanwhile, Gohan and Mew…**

Gohan: YOU KILLED MY FATHER!

Mew: Mewmew. Mew MEW mew mewmew!

Gohan: NO! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! HE'S DEAD!

Mew: Mew mewmew…

Gohan: I am NOT RETARDED!

Mew: MEW! *points at Goku*

Gohan: THAT'S A DOPPLEGANGER!

Mew: …??? *scratches head*

Gohan: HE'S NOT MY REAL FATHER!

Chi-Chi: YOU HAVEN'T GOT A REAL FATHER! YOU NEVER HAD ONE! YOU'RE A CLONE!

Gohan: Mom?

Chi-Chi: I'M NOT YOUR MOM! I'm Owen's REAL girlfriend!

Goku, Owen & Mewtwo: Chi-Chi?

Chi-Chi: Yes! IT IS I!

Owen: You don't even LOOK like my girlfriend!

Chi-Chi: I'm hurt…

**Sabrina the Psychic Gym Leader floats over**

Owen: THAT'S her! *takes Sabrina's hand and starts to French her*

Mewtwo: OWEN! HOW COULD YOU?

Chi-Chi: Please. Tell me it's not true…*looks at Mewtwo*

Mewtwo: What?

Chi-Chi: *runs over to Mewtwo*

Mewtwo: Uh….

Chi-Chi: *starts to French Mewtwo*

Goku: uh…

Mewtwo: I was always told never to date outside my species. But…I'm the only one in my species

Goku: This could be interpreted in a very wrong way…

Mewtwo: She's MINE!

Goku: NO! MINE!

Mewtwo: SHE'S MINE!

Goku: NO! MINE!

Mewtwo: SHE'S MINE!

Goku: NO! MINE!

**This continues on. Meanwhile, Zak and Trunks…**

Trunks: You think you can beat me with this…THING?!

Zak: Uh…yeah. You're a transvestite. Of course I can!

Trunks: It looks so stupid though!

Zak: Your groin?

Trunks: NO! THIS….THING!

**Gyarados tosses its head**

Trunks: ACK! 

Zak: Gyarados! HYPER BEAM!

**Gyarados opens its mouth and a rainbow light appears**

Trunks: NOT MORE MULTI-COLORED PUKE! ACK!

**Meanwhile in the crowd…**

Vegeta: *sob* I could have been in this…

Perfect Cell: I know, I know… *sniff*

Boo: Shut up!

Minsc: BOO! I'VE FOUND YOU AT LAST! 

Boo: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I AM NOT A MINIATURE GIANT SPACE HAMPSTER!

Minsc: Oh. There's boo! *scoops up Boo the Hampster*

Vegeta: DAMMIT IRENICUS! IT'S NOT FAIR!!

Perfect Cell: YOU SUCK! YOU WERE TOO LAZY TO PUT ME IN!

****

I heard that…

Perfect Cell: GOOD! PUT ME IN!

****

If you insist…

Perfect Cell: HAHA! *leaps into the Fray*

**Mewtwo throws a Psyball at Perfect Cell**

**Perfect Cell explodes into the air at Mach69**

Davis: Hey! 'Sup?

Perfect Cell: GAH!

**Back in the crowd**

Boo: Wonder what happened to Perfect Cell?

**Freiza walks down at sits**

Vegeta: Couldn't you find a seat somewhere else?

Freiza: No need for words. *points farther up the stands to Krillin* 

Krillin: *waves while smiling like Andrew* Hi!

****

A/N: Andrew is a kid who smiles while even when saying GOD DAMN YOU, FUCKING RETARD!

Vegeta: I feel your pain.

Boo: Tell me about it.

Freiza: What's the little white thing doing to Gohan?

Vegeta: I dunno.

Gohan: IS NOT MY REAL FATHER!

Mew: Mew mew! *nods head*

Gohan: I'll show you! *throws energy ball*

Mew: *looks at Gohan and uses Transform*

**Meanwhile…Zak and Trunks**

Announcer: Gyarados is unable to battle. Trunks is the Winner! *holds up Red Flag. Little green bar underneath Zak's name disappears*

Zak: GAH! I'm on my last Pokemon! GO! *throws Pokeball*

**Alakazam appears**

Alakazam: Kazaaaaam….*spoons lift into the air*

Trunks: *starts to lift into the air* Wha? *sweatdrop* 

Alakzam: Ala…KAZAM! *spoons start to bend back and forth*

Trunks: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! *feels as if he's being torn apart* I'll *gasp* get you! *throws ball. Alakazam is encased in ice*

Boo: ZAK! LOOK OUT! IF ALAKAZAM TOUCHES SOMETHING LIVING, IT'LL EXPLODE!

Zak: POKEMON CAN'T DIE EXCEPT BY THE HAND OF ANOTHER POKEMON!

Boo: Doesn't matter. It will lose.

Zak: uhhh…*sweatdrop* I know! ALAKAZAM! TELEPORT!

**Alakazam teleports just as it hits the wall. There is a cloud of dust and then there is silence.**

Trunks: Heh heh heh. I believe you have lost.

**Dust settles and Alakazam is lying on the ground with X'd eyes**

Announcer: Alakazam is unable to battle. TRUNKS IS THE WINNER! *holds up Red Flag. Little green bar underneath Zak's name disappears.* And the winner of this match is…TRUNKS!

Zak: No…*kneels* How could I lose.

Trunks: Now I'll help Gohan! WOOOOWHOOOO! *flies off to Gohan and Mew. Mew is an exact duplicate of Gohan.*

Gohan & Mew: IT'S HIM! *point to each other*

Trunks: Hmmmm…YAAAAAAAAAAAH! *attacks real Gohan*

Gohan: Ow! Stoppit! Stoppitsopptistoppitstoppitstoppitstoppitstoppit! PLEASE! CUT IT OUT! *eyes are X'd* 

Announcer: Gohan is unable to battle. MEW IS THE WINNER!

Mew: *changes back* MEW! MEWEH MEWEH MEWEH! MEW!

Trunks: YOU MADE ME BEAT GOHAN! YOU SHALL PAY DEARLY!

Mew: Mew! *waves and disappears*

Goku: MINE!

Mewtwo: She's mine!

Goku: MINE!

Mewtwo: I'll fight you for her…

Goku: Okay…*looks at Gohan and flies over*

Trunks: Mew did it…

Goku: YOU BEAT GOHAN! YOU SHALL PAY DEARLY

**Meanwhile…Owen and Piccolo**

Piccolo: *wheeze wheeze cough* You make a good opponent, but your almost finished!

Owen: GAH! GO! *throws Pokeball*

**Umbreon appears**

Owen: Okay Umbreon…don't let me down or I'll make you date Chi-Chi…

Umbreon: *sweatdrop* Umb!

Piccolo: *thought bubble* _My last fight!_

Owen: uh…

Piccolo: YAH! *disappears*

Umbreon: *looks around* Umbreon…

Owen: Aw {censored}! *looks at feet* Umbreon! Use Faint Attack!

Umbreon: *nods and disappears*

**Piccolo and Umbreon reappear. They are both fighting each other tooth and nail. But in the end…**

Owen: GAH!

Announcer: Umbreon is unable to battle. PICCOLO IS THE WINNER! *holds up green flag. Little red bar underneath Owen's name disappears* And the overall winner of this match is…PICCOLO!!!

Owen: *drops to knees* You did good, Umbreon. Return! *holds up Pokeball. Umbreon returns to the Pokeball*

Piccolo: Ha HA! *flies over to Trunks and Goku*

Goku: YOUR MOTHER IS A {censored}

**Vegeta flies over**

Vegeta: DID YOU JUST CALL HER A {censored}?

Goku: Yeah…what're you gonna do about it?

Trunks: You think my mom's a {censored}? Look at Chi-Chi!

Piccolo: THAT'S NOT THE POINT!

Chi-Chi: Look. None of this wouldn't have happened if it weren't for Mew. *points at Mew who is entertaining the crowd*

Vegeta: *glares at Mew* Let's get it…

Trunks: Uh…Mew is a girl.

Vegeta: *glares at Trunks and Mew* Let's get her…

**Simultaneously, Team Dragonball Z's hair sticks up and turns yellow as they all go Super Saiyan.**

Mew: *sweatdrop* Mmeww…

Team DBZ: YAAAAAH! *they all tackle Mew until she is beaten to the ground. Mew is x'd, scarred, bruised, battered, shivering, moaning…etc.*

Announcer: Mew is unable to battle…TEAM DRAGONBALL Z IS THE WINNER! *holds up DBZ flag.* And the overall winners of this match is…

Mewtwo: WAIT!

Announcer: Oh. You're still here.

**Mewtwo flies down to the ground where Mew is**

Owen: Oh no…

**Mewtwo picks up Mew**

Freiza: This is bad…

Mewtwo: Look at this! Look what you've done! *holds up Mew. Eyes turn blood red* _YOU_ WILL SUFFER MY WRATH! *throws colossal-sized Psyball. Stadium and everything else within a two-mile radius is enveloped. The dust settles*

**Mewtwo is floating with his arms outstretched to the sky. A metal breastplate flies down and attaches to Mewtwo's chest. Two gauntlets and anklets fly down and attach themselves to him. Finally, an oddly shaped helmet attaches itself to Mewtwo's head. Mewtwo stands looking dashing and handsome for a moment, before tackling Chi-Chi.**

Team DBZ: HEY!

Mewtwo: YOU *punch* STARTED *punch* THIS! *punch* And *punch* I *punch* intend *punch* to finish *punch punch punch* it! *head-slam*

Chi-Chi: *spits out teeth* Hee hee. *falls unconscious*

Goku: Hey! I HAD SOME REMOTE FEELINGS FOR…FOR…

Mewtwo: Chi-Chi

Goku: Chi-Chi!

Mewtwo: Well, I hope you have medical insurance!

Goku: For what?

**Mewtwo flies at Goku very fast and tackles him. Goku flies out of the Stadium and lands in a familiar place. Mewtwo flies after him.**

Trunks: We gotta save Goku!

Piccolo: C'mon!

Vegeta: Kakarot! I LOVE YOU!

Chi-Chi: ME FIRST!

Boo: What the {censored}?

Freiza: I guess I'll go as well…

**They all fly off to Mewtwo's island**

Krillin: Huh? *looks around* Where'd everybody go?

**We fly at Mach2 to Mewtwo's Island. A fortress has been erected (don't ask me how) and Mewtwo is beating the daylights out of Goku. Team DBZ arrives, as well as the DigiDestined and the NPTAF NEWS. (News People That Are Freaks)**

Trunks: GET HIM! *charges Mewtwo*

**Mewtwo looks up and springs out of the way**

Piccolo: You're MINE! *throws Energy Ball*

**Mewtwo flies into the air and reflects it at Piccolo. An explosion fills the air and Piccolo is lying on the ground, completely out of the fight**

Vegeta: NO! *rushes to Piccolo, and then glares at Mewtwo*

Mewtwo: You can always quit now. One down…*looks at fingers muttering under his breath* six to go *Psyfire surrounds him*

Vegeta: Rally to me! 

**Dr. Gero and 16 & 17 appear**

Dr. Gero: I could use a brain like that for my new androids. GET HIM!

**A few short seconds later, Dr. Gero and his androids explode into millions of cybronic pieces**

Vegeta: Kakarot! I shall avenge you! *flies into the air*

Mewtwo: I suppose I could fight you fist to fist. Alright, sounds good

**Vegeta charges down at Mewtwo. Mewtwo catches Vegeta by the head and throws him at Mach6 to the ground. Vegeta recovers and flies up at Mewtwo, delivering thousands of punches. Each of these are blocked. Mewtwo grabs Vegeta by the head, slams his own head into Vegeta's, punches him a few hundred times in the stomach, and then knees him hard in the groin. Vegeta falls out of the sky…out of the fight**

Mewtwo: Five more…any takers?

**The rest of Team DBZ flies up and attacks. Mewtwo releases his Psyfire at Boo. Boo flies at Mach69 into the atmosphere**

Boo: Cell! YOUR BACK! *hugs Perfect Cell*

Davis: Hey! 'Sup?

Perfect Cell: GAH!

**Down at Mewtwo's island…**

**Mewtwo glows blue into a sphere. We see a familiar scene as a mushroom cloud appears on the island. (_See. Pokemon the First Movie, prologue)_**

**Trunks joins Perfect Cell, Davis, and Boo**

Mewtwo: Three

Freiza: Okay, okay. I give up.

Mewtwo: *grins* good

**After the sound of a punch, Freiza joins Trunks, Davis, Perfect Cell, and Boo**

Mewtwo: Two

Chi-Chi: But Mewtwo! I LOVE YOU!!

Mewtwo: Chi-Chi! I…I…I NEVER LOVED YOU!

Chi-Chi: NOOOOOOOOO! *jumps into the water*

Mewtwo: *looks at Goku* One!

Goku: Do your worst!

**We hear whistling in the background. A tumble weed flies by**

Mewtwo & Goku: YAAAAAAAAAA! *charge each other*

**Mewtwo kicks Goku into the water. Mewtwo jumps into the water**

Goku: *sees Mewtwo. Sweatdrop*

Al Fish: Richard Simmons…Pink Pills…Acid is good…Lord of the Dance…Richard Simmons…Pink pills…

****

A/N: Yes, I KNOW VERY WELL THAT YOU WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO SEE A SWEATDROP UNDERWATER!!!!!!! ~ Irenicus

Mewtwo: I hate Dragonball Z…

**Three months later**

Davis: Whoa!

Perfect Cell: Dude…

Trunks: Yeah…

Boo: Took us long enough to land…

TV: _We interrupt BUFFY the SUPER CRAZY ACTION USED-TO-BE-DOG-BUT-IS-NOW-A-CAT to bring you this special report. _

Goku: I was beaten so badly by Mewtwo and I'd like to tell him that I want a rema…

Reporter: Thank you!

I hope you liked this. I also hope that you read this far to read this. Well, Dragonball Z lost, and I'd like to ask you to review. Now, await the next chapter of…

****

THE LIFE OF A {censored} POKEMON TRAINER!!!

~Irenicus


	3. Introducing our host(s)...

****

Life of a {censored} Pokemon Trainer:

With Special Guests, Carbon-Based Biped and Trah!

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon, Digimon, Dragonball Z, Tenchi Muyo, Gundam, Sailor Moon, X-Men, Master Hades, Siris Sun God, South Park and no, despite popular belief, I do not own a mink farm. However, I do own Carbon-Based Biped and Trah.

**Scene opens to a bird's eye view of a stadium. Down below, maniacal screaming can be heard. Upon closer inspection, the screams of terror are actually crazy women jumping and shouting at person on stage. In the background, the song _I get knocked down_ written by Chumba Wumba (all rights belong to their respective owners) is being played. The music stops abruptly, as a figure in a blue coat, wearing a red hat walks on stage**

Ash: Okay, listen up! This will only take a second. *holds up remote* In my hand I hold a remote--

Guy-in-crowd: NO SHIT!

**Guy in crowd abruptly self combusts**

Ash: *continuing as if nothing has happened* This remote will detonate approximately 4 tons of C-4 plastic explosives, buried beneath this stadium. *puts on mirrored sunglasses*

**Misty walks on stage cradling a sub-machine gun**

Misty: Ash, it's time to go home now.

Ash: No! It's still light out

Misty: Ash, those are street lamps!

Ash: NO! YOU CANNOT END MY REIGN OF TERROR. *hits Misty with remote*

Voice from off stage: No, but I can!

Ash: Who the hell are you?

Voice: I am…..*Brock swings on-stage* Brock!

Ash: Wha-

Brock: Your reign of evil ends here…evildoer!

Ash: Never! *pulls out a C-10 canister rifleÓ *

Brock: *pulls out Minigun* Die!

Ash: Ladies first!

Brock: *looks around wildly* Where?

**Ash fires the Canister rifle in three short bursts. Flaming Pikachus shoot out in a firey blast. Brock jumps to the side and begins to spray bullets at over 100 bps. (bullets per second). They all miss. Ash shoots another flaming Pikachu. Brock chucks a grenade. Misty blows up. A boy walks on stage**

Boy: Sweet… *picks up remote*

Ash: *turns head around in slow motion* NOOOOOOOOO! MY SOURCE OF POWER!!!

Boy: Huh? *presses the big red button*

**Everyone braces themselves….a thud is heard**

Brock: Huh?

Ash: What the hell? What's going on?

**Mewtwo is seen munching on C-4 in the background**

Ash: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Mewtwo: Argle bargle

Misty: Wha? Kunfoozedd….

Brock: Let this be lesson to you, evildoer.

Ash: Whazzat?

Brock: It's not cool to skip school.

**Shortly after, the stage is cleared. The crowd begins to chat amongst themselves, obviously forgetting that their lives were "in danger." Or, they already KNEW that Ash is a bumbling oaf who can't do anything without messing up. Except yelling at the wrong time. Suddenly, the lights go out. The crowd waits in an anxious anticipation. Smoke appears on stage**

Carbon-Based Biped: Welcome, to my humble abode. I am Car--

**Stadium explodes**

***

**The new setting is at your average, run of the mill, nameless and nondescript prairie with a karaeoke machine. There is a small crowd gathered around it, with a man sitting on top of it. The crowd consists of: Owen, Zak, Tai, Matt, Davis, Gohan, Piccolo, Joe, and a blackened Mewtwo who is still chewing on C-4 plastic explosives**

Mewtwo: You shoulda told me that it would explode

Owen: It said on package, "Danger Explosive."

Mewtwo: Pushaw. Whatever, girlfriend

Owen: Uh…..

Mewtwo: Besides, I ate the package first

Owen: You didn't read it?

Mewtwo: Uh…yeah…I can't read

Zak: You almost took over the world and you can't read

Mewtwo: Well I USED to be able to. A waaaaaay long time ago

Piccolo: A VERY long time ago

Trunks: Yup

Gohan: How the hell did you get here?

Trunks: I walked

Matt: *huffs* well _that_ was smart….

Trunks: Uh, yeah. How else would I have gotten here?

Mewtwo: I flew

Piccolo: I used Nimbus

Joe: Su estas me pantalones?

Matt: Damn it! Leave me alone!

Joe: J'aime Matt… *puckers up*

Matt: Tai, you still have that Desert Eagle?

Tai: No, your mom found out.

Matt: Oh yeah

Ash: Here, take this. *hands Matt his C-10 Canister RifleÓ *

Matt: Thank God. *points Rifle at Joe*

Joe: Hee hee hee! 

Matt: NOW YOU SHUT UP FOREVER, NUMBSKULL!!! *fires off five shots of flaming Pikachu*

Joe: Muchas estupido! *begins to laugh at Matt*

Matt: *screaming at Ash* HE DIDN'T DIE!

Ash: Meh…what's your point? 

Matt: …help….

Piccolo: Hey, can I have some?

Mewtwo: Sure *hands Piccolo 13 oz. of C-4 plastic explosives*

Piccolo: Thanks!

Mewtwo: No problem

**Piccolo explodes**

Mewtwo: Sweet…

**Carbon-Based Biped starts flying around**

Carbon-Based Biped: Come one! Come ALL! Come see the grand mad skillz shooting range

**Brock appears with Minigun, automatic bumbershoot-shotgun, Gauss Rifle, Vulcan Cannon, Wafflestomper Throwing knives, hand grenades, Twin Flaming Bulbasaur pistols, etc**

Carbon-Based Biped: You lose! 

**Brock explodes. Carbon-Based Biped begins to laugh hysterically**

Tai: Let's learn about Cloud Strife.

Carbon-Based Biped: *looks at Trah* What's up with Tai?

**Trah ignores him due to the fact that she is frenching with Duo Maxwell from Gundam Wing**

**Carbon-Based Biped takes control of fic**

Carbon-Based Biped: So…damnfuckassshitbitchslu-

**Irenicus takes back control of fic**

****

Too bad…if perchance you do that again, you shall make my characters very unhappy!

**Carbon-Based Biped considers…Carbon-Based Biped is now in control of the fic. Again**

Carbon-Based Biped: As I was saying….{censored} {censored} {censored} {censored} *Carbon-Based Biped, although he CLAIMED to actually read this fic, forgot something. A barrage of Pokeballs and anvils labeled {censored} smack him in the face*

Carbon-Based Biped: *pulls out shotgun* Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiii *cocks shotgun* kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa *aims shotgun at air that for the time being is Irenicus* CHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!! *fires shotgun*

**Irenicus takes control of fic**

**The characters stand there in a stunned silence**

Davis: What…the hell?

Ash: I don't know

Gohan: It's a duel of the titans

Trah: *stops making out with Duo Maxwell* OH MY GOD! DRAGONBALL Z! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

**Trah takes over fic**

**Gohan randomly and rapidly internally combusts**

**Irenicus retakes control of fic**

****

Thanks

Trah: No problem.

Matt: Let's all learn about pink fuzzy underwear.

Trah: Go away Matt

Davis: Wolverine would look good in a purple fluffy dress

Trah: Go away Davis

Tai: I like beach balls

Trah: Go away Tai

Trunks: Trah would look good in a skimpy bikini

Trah: WHAT?!

**Trunks explodes**

Sailor Jupiter: I am a bunny rabbit

**Kenny hops up**

Kenny: Nope, I am a bunny rabbit!

Sailor Jupiter: No, I am! Hop hop hop! Hop like a bu--

**Kenny shoots Nightcrawler at Sailor Jupiter**

Nightcrawler: *flying through the air* YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

**Sailor Jupiter flashes Nightcrawler**

**Nightcrawler stops flying and attacks Kenny**

Nightcrawler: *flying through the air* YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

**Kenny puts Nightcrawler in his pocket**

**Al eats Kenny**

Owen: ??? *scratches head*

Mewtwo: You got me

Ash: *shrugs*

Carbon-Based Biped: Ahem!

**Everyone abruptly stops talking and stares at Carbon-Based Biped**

Carbon-Based Biped: Since I am merely a voice I will be going away now.

**Carbon-Based Biped disappears**

**Misty finds Carbon-Based Biped hiding behind the speakers**

Carbon-Based Biped: WHAT THE FUCK?! GO AWAY! LEAVE ME ALONE DAMN IT!

**Carbon-Based Biped gets buried under a furious barrage of Pokeballs, anvils, chairs, chickens, Flaming Pikachus and socks**

Carbon-Based Biped: *hand appears out of laundry pile waving a white flag* You win….

Trah: No! Never give up! 

**Carbon-Based Biped takes over FanFic**

Carbon-Based Biped: *tears white flag to shreds* HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Irenicus: Noooooooo! Can't we just live in a mutual respect and non-demeaning author-to-author relationship?

Carbon-Based Biped: *stares blankly* And I thought that nature documentaries lived in a fantasy world…

Irenicus: Screw you…

Carbon-Based Biped: *sings* Not for free!!!

**Joe runs up with a bundle of money**

Carbon-Based Biped: Oh gods.

Joe: Hee hee heee!

Trah: *whacks Joe with newspaper*

Ash: *snatches back newspaper*

Trah: *eats Ash*

Al: *eats Trah*

Trah: No! This cannot be!

Al: *gets indigestion*

All: EWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

Trah: DIE!!!! *Al disappears* Grrrrrrrrr…..

Tai: What the {censored} is going on?

Irenicus: I don't know. I don't even know why I'm down here talking to you in person instead of playing supreme deity.

Duo Maxwell: Hmm…I liked you better that way.

Carbon-Based Biped: GOD! WHAT THE HELL?!

Duo Maxwell: *shrugs and takes a bite of a Japanese electronic highly-explosive and extremely dangerous radioactive donut of Wrath and Doom and Eyeballs (and War and Peace and cookies)*

**Master Hades appears**

Master Hades: No…. *gives thumbs up sign*

Tai: What are you doing here?

Master Hades: *runs up to Tai* Can I buy your soul?

Tai: What'll ya give me?

Master Hades: I shall give you all you desire.

Tai: Deal!

**Master Hades gives Tai a button, two pieces of string, and a quarter**

Tai: Sweet! *disappears*

Master Hades: *runs up to Slufus* Can I buy your soul?

Slufus: You already bought mine.

Master Hades: Oh yeah *sighs heavily and looks at watch* Meh…Al just escaped from Spellhold asylum. Gotta go! *Master Hades disappears*

Owen: Irenicus, is there a point to this?

Irenicus: Is there ever?

Owen: I see!

Mewtwo: …said the blind man as he picked up his hammer and saw

Davis: Meh… *starts to eat sandwich*

Sandwich: Hey!

Davis: Wha? Oh well… *eats the rest of the sandwich*

Carbon-Based Biped: What the hell? Do I have to talk again? God damn it!

Trah: As usual, the pink fuzzy underwear has control of the fic…

Irenicus: What?!

Joe: Sweet!

**Joe explodes**

Matt: *sitting inside a Howitzer* YES! HE'S GONE! BWA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA- *is cut short as the tank self-combusts*

**Crowd is watching as Matt explodes into the air at mach 8, yelling one last "Damn it!" the cry is gone and back shortly as Matt flies around the globe**

Al: Vuja de!

Irenicus: Trah? What was that you said about the underwear?

Trah: Ahem! "Trah: As usual, the pink fuzzy underwear has control of the fic…"

Irenicus: No! The Kama Sutra master has struck again!

Master Hades: You've played Fallout?

Irenicus: No….I think….

Evil-Kama-Sutra-Pink-Fuzzy-Underwear: HAHAHAHAHAHA! I AM HERE TO BE THE VILLAIN!

Irenicus: How do you propose we get rid of this thing?

Carbon-Based Biped: Okay, so we get a whole bunch of bananas, see, because bananas are loaded with potassium, see, and we put them in a big huge pile, see, and then we cover the pile with TNT, see, and then we retreat about five or six miles, see, and then we set off the TNT, see, and then we get a nuclear explosion, because potassium is radioactive, see!

Master Hades: No, that sounds too sane…

Irenicus: Maybe we're not supposed to kill it….

Owen: WHAT?!

Irenicus: Well, all the other chapters are like, 22 pages long. This one would be about 7-8 pages.

Trah: Maybe…YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO SHORTEN IT!

Evil-Kama-Sutra-Pink-Fuzzy-Underwear: HAHA! You do not even know who I am!

Irenicus: Who are you?

Evil-Kama-Sutra-Pink-Fuzzy-Underwear: I am….SIRIS, SUN GOD!

Irenicus: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Evil-Kama-Sutra-Pink-Fuzzy-Underwear-That-Is-Really-Siris-Sun-God: It is the only way I could've gotten past you. By disguising myself as the Evil-Kama-Sutra-Pink-Fuzzy-Underwear.

Irenicus: No. You fail.

Siris, Sun God: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO- *goes away*

Zak: Well, that takes care of that, doesn't it.

Carbon-Based Biped: YAY! I CAN LEAVE NOW!!!

****

One more thing…..

Carbon-Based Biped: Dare I ask what?

**Suddenly, Misty, Sabrina, Chi-Chi, Ash and Brock appear hand begin to hug him**

Carbon-Based Biped: *howls insanely* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOOO!

Trah: Sucker! 

**Suddenly, Trah is wearing a red hat, a blue jacket with POKEMONPOKEMONPOKEMON labeled on the back, and dozens of Pokemon stuffed animals, toys, etc.**

Trah: GOD DAMN IT!!!!!!!!

****

Ahhh….good times…..

**Cartman appears**

Cartman: Whoah, this is pretty fucked up right here.

**Irenicus hurls flaming bolts of {censored} at Cartman**

Cartman: Aaah! *bolts of {censoredness} strike him* God damn it! Don't shoot me!

Mewtwo: Ah, South Park. TIMMY!

Timmy: Timmy?

Mewtwo: TIMMY!

Timmy: TIMMY!

Mewtwo: TIMMY?!

Timmy: *nods vigorously* TIMMY!

Mewtwo: TIMMY!

Timmy: TIMMY!

Mewtwo: TIMMY!

Timmy: TIMMY!

Mewtwo: TIMMY!

Timmy: TIMMY!

Mewtwo: TIMM-

Owen: GOD DAMNIT! THAT'S ENOUGH! *shoots Timmy and Mewtwo*

Mewtwo & Timmy: *exchange confused glances*

Zak: Irenicus?

Irenicus: Yeah?

Zak: Why do you always do that?

Irenicus: What? 

Zak: The five or six pages of the same words.

Irenicus: What's wrong with it?

Zak: Oh, nothing. Only that you do it _every single chapter!_ IT'S ANNOYING!

Carbon-Based Biped: I like the cross better.

Irenicus: Whazza. What? I'm confused….

Stan: HOLY SHIT DUDE!

Cartman: Whoah! This is pretty fucked up right here.

Stan: HOLY SHIT DU- *Holy Sledgehammer of Almighty Socks smashes Stan into oblivion*

Carbon-Based Biped: It's not fair! Why am I {censored} and not them?!

Irenicus: Have you ever _tried_ to {censor} South Park? Have you ever seen a PG rated South Park fic? Do you even want to _think_ about a {censored} South Park?! *shudders*

Carbon-Based Biped: Good point. But still not fair.

HP Hood: What th- *disappears*

Carbon-Based Biped: Oh my God! That was my sister! AAAAAAAAAAAA- *gets hit by the Holy Sledgehammer of See Above Answer* WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN BY, "SEE ABOVE ANSWER?!" IT MAKES NO SENSE!!!

Irenicus: Does any of this?

Carbon-Based Biped: Good point.

Zak: Sooooo….what do we do now?

Owen: Dunno.

Irenicus: I suppose that we have to wait…

Owen: For what?

Irenicus: Dunno.

Mewtwo: I've got a lovehly buncha concunuts, deedle dee dee. There they are a standing in a row…bum bum bum…

Cloud: Give 'em a twist, flick of the wrist….

Irenicus: Ah ha! A newcomer!

Cloud: What the hell are you talking about?

Irenicus: Entertain me!

Cloud: Uh….I can get Tifa to come over here, if you're that desperate…

Carbon-Based Biped: What the hell is she going to be able to do?

**Everyone stares at him with open mouths**

Zak: Uh…

Owen: Yeah…

Tai: Cloud?

Cloud: Yeah?

Matt: Can you bring Tifa, like, now?

Cloud: No, she's busy.

Cartman: Doing what?

Cloud: Uh, she never really got over the Don Corneo incident…

All: OH GOD!!!

Cloud: No, I meant that she's kicking his ass right now.

All: OH GOD!!!

Cloud: You people are all freaks, you know that?

All: OH GOD!!!

Cloud: Shut up!

All: OH G- *Cloud unsheathes Buster Sword and chases them all around*

Tifa: Hi! I'm Tifa

**Everyone abruptly stops whatever their doing at begins to oggle at Tifa**

Tifa: What? *stretches*

Tai: *drooling* Aaah…. *pops one*

Matt: *drooling* Oooh…. *pops one*

Mewtwo: *drooling* Hmmm… *pops some popcorn into his mouth and continues watching Pokemon the First Movie*

Owen: *looks at Mewtwo* How….can you be watching something else?

Mewtwo: Simple. _I'm _the main attraction of this

Zak: So why are you drooling over yourself?

Mewtwo: I'm not. Mew is also in this

All: OH GOD!!!

Cloud: GOD DAMNIT!!! *unsheathes Buster Sword and cuts off Doug's head*

Doug's head: Isaac, yer gonna die! *disappears*

***

**In a hurried attempt to change the setting, Irenicus (along with Carbon-Based Biped and Trah) warp the reality of the fic for a short period to transport all characters herein to the Lost Woods in Hyrule. Once arrived…**

Carbon-Based Biped: Why the hell would I want to go to the Lost Woods?!

**In a hurried attempt to change the setting, Irenicus (along with a grudging Carbon-Based Biped and Trah) warp the reality of the fic for a short period to transport all characters herein to the Digital World**

Irenicus: No, no. That scares me…

**!!! In a hurried attempt to change the setting, Carbon-Based Biped (along with a very, very annoyed Irenicus and Trah) warp the reality of the fic for a short period to transport all characters herein to Baldur's Gate**

Doug's head: Damnit! You and your stupid Baldur's Gate crap!

**Joe walks up to Doug's head…**

Joe: Madre! *picks up Doug's head and begins to play kickball with Tifa*

Cloud: Hey! Lemme play! *jumps into the fray to be tackled by Doug's head. He gets a nice view up Tifa's skirt before he blacks out*

Zak: Ouch, that's gotta hurt…

Matt: But what a way to go…

Owen: Lucky bastard.

Cloud: *wakes up two seconds later* Mmmm….Tifa's…tasty… *falls back into a coma*

Tifa: Cloud? Are you all right?

**Zak, Matt and Owen are still bickering and grumbling about Cloud's luck**

Carbon-Based Biped: AIEE! PUTTY! *a wad of yellow putty flies past the screen*

Trah: Yippee!

Carbon-Based Biped: *singing* I think I'll go for a walk outside now, the summer sun's calling my name! I hear ya now. I just can't stay inside all day, I gotta get out, get me some of those raaa-aaa-aays! Everyone is…I can't remember…I CAN'T REMEMBER *starts to sob* I can't remember how the song goes!

Mewtwo: Thank God…

Carbon-Based Biped: *smacks Mewtwo with his hand*

Mewtwo: *smacks Carbon-Based Biped with his tail*

Carbon-Based Biped: Cat fight! *Mewtwo and Carbon-Based Biped begin to kill each other*

Mewtwo: *smacks Carbon-Based Biped with his flatulence*

Carbon-Based Biped: GASP! WHEEZE! PANT PANT! Oh Gods! I can't breathe! DIIIIIIIIE! *smacks Mewtwo so hard he travels into the future*

Irenicus: OW! *gets smacked by putty* Vut de heow?! *has putty on his mouth in the shape of a smiley face*

Trah: Why the sudden obsession with putty?

Irenicus: *shrug* 

Mewtwo: Interesting

Matt: What?

Mewtwo: I have citrus flavored earwax

Carbon-Based Biped: Wheeze! Pant! Cough cough! I'm going to kill you all! *smacks Mewtwo so hard that Mewtwo is knocked into the future*

Owen: But…but…

Davis: He's gone now…

Owen: No…Mewtwo…

Carbon-Based Biped: Getting sick of all those popups? Join millions, get Juno Platinum!

Trah: No! Juno sucks!

Irenicus: Hey! I use Juno!

Trah: But it sucks…

Irenicus: But it doesn't…

Carbon-Based Biped: But it's my mom…

Al: It's me!

Carbon-Based Biped: It's my mom!

Al: It's me!

Carbon-Based Biped: IT'S BUTTER!!!

Owen: YOU DID THIS!!!

Carbon-Based Biped: the butter?

Owen: YAAAAAAAAAAAAH! *tackles Carbon-Based Biped*

**As of now, Carbon-Based Biped is fighting me for the keyboard. We are now debating whether or not to put Carbon-Based Biped: EEK! *runs away* or Carbon-Based Biped: ARG!!! *kicks the crap out of Owen.* The keyboard is escaping my grasp…no…NO**

Trah: I HAVE A SOLUTION TO YOUR PROBLEM!!! *hurriedly types on my keyboard*

Carbon-Based Biped: EEK! *kicks the crap out of Matt*

Matt: What the Hell did I do?!

Irenicus: What the hell is wrong with you man?! *kicks the crap out of Matt* YOU DON'T CAPITALIZE THE LETTER "H" ON HELL!

Trah: You just did!

Irenicus: I WAS SHOUTING!!!

Carbon-Based Biped: You still are!

Irenicus: NO I'M NOT!

All: …

Irenicus: Oh, shut up!

Trah: But we didn't say anything…

Irenicus: I would call you an asshole, but that's just mean… 

Doug's Head: Gah hawk gwak gwuaka!

Carbon-Based Biped: Kill it! Kill it now!

Doug's Head: Gaw hyuck bwuka yuk yuk!

Trah: THAT LAUGH IS SO ANNOYING!!!

Doug's Head: I choose picklocket!

Irenicus: Okay, you know what? *pulls out an H&K CAWS shotgun* DIE YOU IDIOT! *shoots Doug's Head*

Doug's Head: Sick of yer crap! *bites Irenicus*

Irenicus: AIEEE!! GET IT OFF ME! GET IT OFF ME! *starts firing shots of in a vain attempt to remove the parasitic character*

Davis: *gets hit by one of the shells* I'm hit! I'm hit! MEDIC!!!

Rob Zombie: Dig through the ditches, burn through the witches, and slam in the back of my Dragula!!!

Cartman: Dude! *starts to break dance* Killin'!

Rob Zombie: Don't steal my dance man!

Cartman: Ain't yer dance, fuckhead!!!

Rob Zombie: Ack! I don't have to take that kinda crap, from you scrawny weaklings! 

Cartman: THAT'S MY LINE!!!

Rob Zombie: *pulls out Potato Gun* DIE!!!! *starts shooting*

Trah: AIEE! *falls over*

Irenicus: GACK! *falls over*

Cloud: I'm hit!!! *falls over*

Carbon-Based Biped: Gods, people! It's just a potato pellet! *gets hit by an impact grenade*

Alex: OW! What the hell?! *she looks around* No! I hate Pokemon!!

Mewtwo: Say what?

Owen: Mewtwo! 

Carbon-Based Biped: How the hell did you get here?

Mewtwo: Well, earlier, you blasted me into the future. I just popped in from the past at a random time

Alex: AAAAAAAAAAAAH! *runs away in terror*

Joe: Hmmm…*looks to the right, then to the left* Heh heh heh… *chases after Alex*

Cloud: Oh my God! Do you have any idea what he is going to DO TO HER?! *draws Buster Sword and chases after Alex & Joe*

Tifa: Cloud! My God! Do you have any idea what he's going to DO TO HIM?! *races after Cloud*

Carbon-Based Biped: My God! Do you any idea what she's going to DO TO HIM?! Um…um…um…um…THE END!

The End ^_^\/

All: DAMN!

Carbon-Based Biped: Yeah! Take _that_, bitch!

Irenicus: The End?

Trah: Does this mean I can leave now?

Irenicus: Now I'm depressed…

Carbon-Based Biped: *shoots Irenicus* He's not depressed anymore, just dead!

Irenicus: *is dead*

Carbon-Based Biped: ...

Irenicus: *is still dead*

Carbon-Based Biped: …

Irenicus: *is deader then ever*

WHEN WILL THIS GODDAMN FIC **_END_**?!

Irenicus: It never ended. There's a sequel!

Trah: You mean…I still have to stay here?!

Irenicus: Yep. Ain't it great?

*Carbon-Based Biped and Trah look at each other and nod. They move threateningly towards Irenicus as the curtain falls*

In short…to be continued…


End file.
